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20061028

Sometimes it really sucks to spend so much time, thinking about the future and not being able to make up your damn mind. Thats precisely what i have been going through for the past few days.

Portfolio? Scholarships? Those stuff have never ever crossed my mind..... until the post promotional examination period where everyone around you starts worrying and discussing about such stuff. All of a sudden you realised that you are actually in deep shit and a change is probably far too late to have any effect on your future... yes thats exactly how i am feeling right now... how i wished i have studied harder and mugged more consistently throughout the year... It seriously hurts knowing that you have not done your best or even put in a decent amount of effort to achieve something so important...

I have always planned to go abroad for my university education. My parents have already made it clear that they will not pay for my education if i chose to study overseas. This means that i would only have a single option , scholarship. And what happened next? nothing.... all i did was to place this particular goal at the back of my head for the past few years, and carried on live life the unproductive and meaningless way.

I always believed that those who did CIP and fought for leadership positions solely for the purpose of a nicer portfolio are nothing but selfish asses with screwed up personalities. They may be able to climb up the ladder of success but can they actually stay there for long without the right qualities?

And what about those who blindly follow their passion, doing only the things that they love, losing track of their goals in life? They will probably have no chance to make it big at all.

The path of regrets lies straight ahead of ... and thats exactly where i'm standing.

Just like my dad, I know that i will never forgive myself if i fail...

Half the battle is over, and i have already lost that half of it.

Follow you heart and live life with passion...
but never ignore the voices at the back of your head.

No matter what, I will still stand up and fight once more

posted @ 9:35 PM
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20061014

Lol, the past few weeks have been not bad, veri nice esp since promos are over.. haha but it wasn't slack at all DAMNIT. i thought i cld slack much much more!!! argh... had the track stuff, the faculty stuff and the pw nonsense... so its kinda busy la... BUT not pressurizing since there isn't any academic stuff? yea thats right, thats the cool thing and the reason why life now is more enjoyable. :D

yea... so have been doing lots of sports recently so that i can get back to training asap. but it has been rather unsuccessful due to the haze and time constrain. and i can really sense myself being fatter den ever, kinda scarier...think i ate too much nonsense during the festival of mug, lol. 83 kg in a non competition season! oh my... lol never before le. Must be the McDonalds that almost took away my life during the exam periods haha.. lol

well well, J1 is coming to an end soon... kinda sad, but its much better to accept the truth and live in the present i guess.

And i have to say that my j1 life is seriously the most fruitful year..

back den in secondary school, it was really slack like shit, though compared to others i do have more stuff to manage, more cld have really been done to manage my time more efficiently. Now, its like 3 times more things to handle... kinda tough, but at least i have learnt to be much much more efficient in studies and organizing stuff (: and most importantly, learn to enjoy whatever you are doing....

Yea..kinda sad...cause the old ways of enjoyment such as going out or chiling outside with friends seems so impossible now ): so yea the only solution is to make full use of ur life by enjoying every single little thing u do with ur class or friends, be it studies, trainings or planning for events.. yea.. (:

Hmmm there were quite a few things that happened in the past few days,
first the FOS results the PE department count wrongly!! omg wth.. so scary la... and so in the end Apollo won FOS ^_^ at least my efforts not wasted! com'on give ur Sports Rep a pat on his back! haha... lolol anyway u guys were the main reason why we win la, without u all hahah we wld have died.

Oh den we had open house ytd. the CCA booths were all set up for Fei, it was kinda useless and i figured out that perahps we were told to set up booths just to lighten up the atmosphere. Luckily M.A.D was there to put up a couple of nice shows, yea...if not the whole thing wld have been kinda dead, yea...

And for the past few days have been trying to play a little basketball everyday, cause am desperately trying to get my fitness back. its so bad that i may even fail 1.6km if i follow the primary school criteria haha... LOL
And did i tell u how lucky was i? lost my wallet on wed, left it in the cafe, and then i got it back frm the General Office!!! :D:D:D it was kinda dumb cause my spastic friend lost her wallet first and when i wanted to lend her $$ then i realized i lost mine. haha.... *claps *claps. and the veri NEXT DAY i left my wallet at the class bench without knowing and luckily sean took it for me... oh my someone please smack me alive haha.

posted @ 10:52 PM
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20061012

post deleted, lol

posted @ 12:44 AM
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20061006

Well well... FOS is finally finally over. :( good and bad.. haha...

Well.. i think it was actually really fun for the past few days, except that i was struggling with lotsa dumb leg injuries which cld be avoided simply by a warm up on the 1st day... yea so in the end it stayed thru with me thruout the whole thing.almost in every damn game and i will be limping for a while. and in additional to that, the haze.. omg.
For the past few days it was like shit!

Esp on tues, i was wheezing and coughing like nobody's business, and when i was walking home the air was as crappy as the air in a fart chamber! I felt like fainting real badly.

SOPHIA! please ask your indonesian friends to stop having campfires in indo! hahahah.. LOL

Anyway, frisbee.... well i guess i shld be contented with the results,due to the fact that we practised the least among the other teams in the finals.. yea...my blood was rather boiling during ONE of the match cause of some hypocritical bastard, oh wells its okay now. i am all fine after the game.. And for the rest of the frisbee matches, it was cool as it was a rather friendly and nice atmosphere... yea.

Floorball, haha it was really cool and fun to watch this kinda exciting and a little violent game.. yea... but i think we really could have gone even further if not for a few careless slips, yea but aniwae good job seriously haha.

And for the other sports, i was glad to see everyone walk out of the courts, giving words of encouragement to each other, hugging each other (okay pls, gals onli, lol) . Yea kinda heartwarming :D
lol

And for rowing today... yea...2nd, congrats guys, you all did damn well... consdiering our opponents, whose participants were all frm sports cca's yea... but once... again i have to say that i am truly sorry for screwing up in the finals. I knew i cld have caught up if i didn't slip off the chair and stopped the machine. Nevertheless, the 1st position was good yep they did well...

.........thats the disadvantage of team sports, the actions of one person may affect the entire team adversely.... and the consequences? everyone in the team will have to face it....

Final words.. thank u for the encouragement 75, cant pull it thru without u guys.

posted @ 10:35 PM
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20061004

YESH OVER OVER YESH OVER YES OVER YES!! OMG YEA!!

Wth... past few weeks was seriously hell especially when u have to pia like shit and start frm scratch.
The content for JC is really crazy... now i understand the importance of consistancy, something which i dearly lack off... goodness...

Even my last minute piaining was not that shen after all....
Cause with that kinda content, its impossible to that for a final yr exam la i guess... i shall strive to be more consistent next yr. Oh wait? isnt it something that i have strived for yrs and never achieved? AHHHHHHH someone just knock a nail in my head man.

Anyway tomorrow is FOS ... so cool.... -_-
and i spent the past 3 hrs + doing the FOS stuff..goodness.. haven studied the SPA Skill A for Chem and Bio tomorrow... luckily its only mock Spa hahah... but i'm sure that i will leave a damn damn damn bad impression tomorrow :/ cause never studied a shit... and dun think i plant too.... too tired... cant be bothered . unmotivated...

Or rather more motivated to win frisbee and rowing and bball lol.

posted @ 1:37 AM
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